Approaching the entrance of an upscale Santa Monica hotel, I noticed half a dozen parking valets gathered around their supervisor. As I passed, he paused and pointed: "Look at him. That's our hotel doctor. You let him park wherever he wants."
This happened in 2003, but I still remember the surge of pleasure. A sure sign that you are an important person is when parking valets accommodate you.
In parts of Los Angeles, especially downtown and the Sunset Strip, street parking is impossible. I dislike turning my car over to an unfamiliar attendant because it can take fifteen minutes to retrieve it from the parking garage. I try to leave it near the entrance, a small area reserved for VIPs. When the attendant doesn't recognize me ("Welcome to the Biltmore; are you checking in?…"), I do not accept the voucher he holds out, explaining "I'm the hotel doctor visiting a sick guest. They let me park." This usually works.
When parking on the street, I follow the sun's position as closely as a sailor because I must park in shade. I keep supplies in the car, and an hour in blazing sun will melt my pills and ruin batteries. I don't mind walking a few blocks if I find free street parking (and I know all the secret places), but since I wear a suit and tie, hot weather discourages this. Rain does the same because carrying an umbrella is awkward in addition to my doctor bag and clipboard.
An advantage of wee-hour calls is that parking restrictions vanish and valets grow somnolent or disappear entirely. I've never felt in danger, but downtown parking remains problematic because homeless men rush up and offer to watch my car.
My most upsetting parking experience occurred at the Ramada in Culver City at 4 a.m. I left my car at the deserted entrance, cared for the guest, and returned to find a parking ticket on my windshield. The hotel's driveway was private property, so ticketing a car requires phoning the police. In the nearly empty lobby I noticed a security officer looking innocently away. There was nothing to be done.
Doctor Oppenheim has been a hotel doctor in Los Angeles for thirty years. He has made about 15,000 visits. Authors contact:
Mike Oppenheim
Email: michaeloppen@yahoo.com
