Things You Should Never Say at Work

By Jacquelyn Smith

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter-'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. – Mark Twain

Darlene Price, author of Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results, concurs. "Words matter," she says. "They are a key component of persuasive communication. Regardless of the audience, topic, or industry, or whether the setting is a stand-up presentation, sit-down conversation, telephone discussion, or an online meeting, a leader uses language to influence someone's mind in order to achieve a certain result. That's one reason they're seen as leaders; their words compel people to follow."

Therefore, if you want to be perceived as a leader in the workplace, a great place to start is by deliberately choosing to speak words and phrases that are empowering to yourself and others; to use language that captivates, motivates, and inspires; and to communicate a vocal image that conveys clarity, confidence, and credibility, she adds.

"In speaking with hundreds of executives and senior leaders over the past twenty years, certain phrases consistently come up as career-limiting phrases that jeopardize one's professional image and potential for promotion," Price says. "To the speaker they may seem like harmless words, however, to the listener they reveal a more critical issue: In a workplace where employers must be cutting-edge, competitive, and cost-effective, employees who use these phrases will likely be replaced with those who convey a more positive attitude, collaborative spirit, proactive behavior and professional demeanor."

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Here are 13 phrases that should be banned from the office:

"It's not fair."

She got a raise, you didn't. He was recognized, you weren't. "Some people have food to eat while others starve," Price says. "Injustices happen on the job and in the world every day. Whether it's a troubling issue at work or a serious problem for the planet, the point in avoiding this phrase is to be proactive about the issues versus complaining, or worse, passively whining." Instead, document the facts, build a case, and present an intelligent argument to the person or group who can help you.

"That's not my problem," "That's not my job," or "I don't get paid enough for this."

If you asked someone for help, and the person replied with one of the above phrases, how would you feel? "As importantly, what would it say about him or her?" Price says. "Regardless of how inconvenient or inappropriate a request may be, it is likely important to the other person or they would not have asked. Therefore, as a contributing member of the team, a top priority is to care about the success of others (or at least act as though you do)."  An unconcerned, detached and self-serving attitude quickly limits career advancement.

"This doesn't mean you have to say yes; it does mean you need to be articulate and thoughtful when saying no," she adds. "For example, if your boss issues an unreasonable request, rather than saying, ‘You've got to be kidding me. I don't get paid enough for this,' instead say, ‘I'll be glad to help. Given my current tasks of A, B, and C, which one of these shall I place on hold while I work on this new assignment?' This clearly communicates teamwork and helpfulness, while reminding your boss of your current work load and the need to set realistic expectations."

"I think…"

Which of these two statements sounds more authoritative?: "I think our company might be a good partner for you." Or, "I believe…" "I know…" or "I am confident that our company will be a good partner for you."

"There is a slight difference in the wording, however the conviction communicated to your customer is profound," she says. "You may have noticed, the first phrase contains two weak words, ‘think' and ‘might.' They risk making you sound unsure or insecure about the message. Conversely, the second sentence is assertive and certain. To convey a command of content and passion for your subject, substitute the word ‘think' with ‘believe' and replace ‘might' with ‘will.'"

"No problem."

When someone thanks you, the courteous and polite reply is, "You're welcome."

"The meaning implies that it was a pleasure for you to help the person, and that you receive their appreciation," Price says. "Though the casual laid-back phrase, ‘no problem' may intend to communicate this, it falls short. It actually negates the person's appreciation and implies the situation couldhave been a problem under other circumstances." In business and social situations, if you want to be perceived as well-mannered and considerate, respond to thank you's with, "You're welcome."

"I'll try."

"Imagine it's April 15th and you ask a friend to mail your tax returns before 5pm on his way to the post office," Price says. "If he replies, ‘Okay, I'll try,' you'll likely feel the need to mail them yourself." Why? Because that phrase implies the possibility of failure.

"In your speech, especially with senior leaders, replace the word ‘try' with the word and intention of ‘will.' This seemingly small change speaks volumes," she adds.

"He's a jerk," or "She's lazy," or "My job stinks," or "I hate this company."

Nothing tanks a career faster than name-calling, Price says. "Not only does it reveal juvenile school-yard immaturity, it's language that is liable and fire-able."

Avoid making unkind, judgmental statements that will inevitably reflect poorly on you. If you have a genuine complaint about someone or something, communicate the issue with tact, consideration and neutrality.

There's more… continue reading page 2 of this article over on the Forbes website

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